Falling Down and Getting Up Again

Two weeks ago I was going to write a post about how I have still been working towards my dreams.  One step at a time.  Quietly and with determination.  

My post was going to be about how excited I was that I had been accepted into art school.  What a huge step it was for me to even apply and put my self and my creations out there and risking being told, 'cute, but not quite good enough' or even worse 'can we interest you in a nice business school'?

Classes started on November 13th. On November 18th I was diagnosed with a large tumor that takes up most of my uterus.

The weeks that followed were full of blood tests, medications to stop the bleeding, iron infusions and biopsies.

All through this I have been struggling to keep up with my class work.

And then, something even worse happened.  Something inside me sat down and totally gave up.  What was the point? Am I supposed to stop trying?  Stop trying to reach my goals or even worse, stop dreaming?

I closed myself off.  I was just so tired of being hit in the head with the cold cabbage of disappointment.

Today the last of the biopsies came back.  Clear. No cancer.  Meaning that even if the tumor is cancerous the chances of it having spread are very low.

This is good.

I go in for surgery tomorrow and should be home by Friday.  I'm a bit nervous which I think is understandable.  The surgery will be about three or four hours. Due to the Crohn's they have to go slowly and carefully so it will take a bit longer than usual.

I've had my two weeks of sulking.  I'm done with that.  It's boring.  

I'm not the giving up type of person.  

Once I get over the surgery, I'll pick myself up, dust myself off, and keep moving forward.  

I'll let you all know how the surgery goes.  

Send me good thoughts, okay?